Strange dream

Just awake from a short nap. The dream I awoke from should have been seriously scary during yet I made it through.

I was shot in the neck. We were at a big extended family party of sorts. As I was walking by the garage a hooded man raised a gun. Next I was reaching for my neck As i could feel the warmth of the blood. My neck felt hard as it pulsed. The blood like thick hot goo as it gushed down my arm. I remember think “aww shit, well this sucks”.

Remi (one of my children) ended up dancing by, he saw me and instantly ran for help. Things turned cartoony as it showed “what happens when a child goes for help”…. it showed him dancing around a playground, jumping over obstacles, kinda of silly. As it was a dream.

Anywhos….

I was unable to yell or talk above a whisper.

I tried texting others for help but the auto correct kept changing my words to emojis. (Poop and cow) 🤦‍♀️

Then my mom came out and she had her brave face on, yet doubtful. I was the one who tried to reassure her I wasn’t going to die, typical me. She cried as she prayed over me. I kept thinking, hello I’m fine I could just use some blood and all will be okay it’s just a little hole in my neck.

My vision was going in and out as if lights were being flickered. My chest started getting tight as my breaths were getting shorter. I knew I needed to stay awake as I kept my finger in my neck. Where was the ambulance and why does shit like this all ways happen to me, I just wanted a cold drink from the plethora of coolers. 😊

I awoke as if I pulled myself from under the concrete. That feel of being hit by a bus , nah…. smooshed would be the more accurate feeling. I would say this was a nightmare but I wasn’t scared, wasn’t worried, just more frustrated from all the little quirks happening not allowing for help to come. Freaky… umm yeah just a bit. Strange Monday this be.

Be safe !!!

😇 ~Shawnna

Be Established

I am a temple within God?.

No longer will I endure the torment of an image that is not mine. I am meant for freedoms. The past has left a wake of despair but my moment is in the now. What is done in that moment is what will define my next. I am tired of being scared of love. For I have known the ins and outs of a great love and let me tell you… the pain is so unbearable yet some how I find a sweetness deep within just so I am able to say Im ok. But ok with what,.. being in despair, sorry , but fudging flippiddy that.

Love is not a possession to be had but a gift that is shared by actions that have nothing to do with ourselves. Today I choose to give love to myself , to respect myself, to prove myself to me. If that makes sense.

I’m tired of trying so hard to be someone to someone else and nobody to me.

My promise is with God and that makes me smile. In the now. 😃

~sweetlyfiercesoul

Passing by

As clouds bypassing by

My days and nights grow weary

As I watch the sky fly by

Remember this….Passing by

Clouds never remain the same

They are ever changing

Remain strong and true to your ground you walk

For the sun will surely shine soon

For the clouds pass by as the minutes of everyday

A passing Sun

A passing Star

A passing person

Be the the “thing” that stands firm and watches the changing world

No mater what passes you by

Choose to see the beauty in whatever remains

Stay true

Stay strong

Stay with God

For He never passes us by.