I’ve been pondering over the many years of research I have done and why I am still lagging on putting the information in a recognizable order. It would seem as if I am making it harder on myself than it truly needs to be. Why? Self sabotage has kinda been a hinderance in my life. When ever I am really good at something I tend to cause a wrinkle for myself. Am I scared of losing what I am so good-by the hand of someone else…maybe. Or am I chicken shit? hmmm also maybe. As I look at my bookshelf filled with notebooks of my notes and what would seem useless to anyone other than me, holds true gold. Knowledge of me finding myself within a digital age. Years where I didn’t leave the house because I was trying to cypher the inner workings of a passage that caught my eye…. I think I enjoy the Quest itself. Maybe the reason why I am unable or unwilling to write out what I know is fear of someone saying my quest was a waste of time. Thinking this truly hurts my heart. As it would any artist, musician, or author. This is a SHITTY feeling. Wow…. I don’t want to be scared of someone not understanding or not believing what I create. I want to be bold and unashamed of the ideas and thoughts that are constantly rushing through my veins. Thats when I read this passage from Elbert Hubbard’s Scrapbook. He brought me back to a place where for a moment i dont feel so alone.
Keats’ dream of ” a very pleasant life.”
” I had an idea that a Man might pass a very pleasant life in this manner: Let him on a certain day read a certain page of full Posey or distilled Prose, and let him wander with it, and muse upon it, and reflect from it, and dream upon it: until it becomes stale– But when will it do so? Never– When a man/woman has arrived at a certain ripeness in intellect any one grand and spiritual passage serves him as a starting-post towards all the ‘two-and-thirty Palaces’ How happy is such a voyage of conception, what delicious, diligent indolence !”
Keats’ Explained perfectly how I am feeling….that delicious bounce of joy when something hits a sense that causes everything within starts firing rapidly. I waited for this to get stale and fade away, but it has only gotten strong and more focused. This is what It feels like for me when I find some sort of knowledge that interests me. Seeing from all points of view without judgment or fear just following the imagination and what might be left out from what is already known. I start backwards.
So I say again. Maybe My dream is the Quest. The quest of wanting knowledge and answers where others say there is none. What I truly know is, ” I Have a Dream!”
“Every wish is like a prayer to God“. ~Elizabeth Barrett Browning
If I had the magic gift like Tinker Bell I’d flit into the mind of my friends and family leaving this prescription for happiness.
Stop the habit of wishful thinking and start the habit of thoughtful wishes.
I would sweep away al those dreary office signs that say “Think” for another that shout “WISH”!
Wishes are thoughts that vibrate with life and eager for action. They have the power to produce light and beauty.
It seems like when ever I look up into the night sky I will see a quick stream of light. A shooting star.
Sadly I have always given my wishes to someone else thinking they could use it more than I. Now I know Those stars are for me just as they are for you.
They are a reminder that our dreams are waiting for us to claim and all the blessings to come with.
Start wishing for all the creations you have within your imagination. I did…they are starting to come true more beautifully than I could ever have imagined.
Sometimes all it takes is being nice, and then the world before you changes!
“No one saves us but ourselves;
No one can and no one may,
We ourselves must walk the Path,
Teacher merely show the way”
-Nancy Wilson Ross