Tears of maybe

Sitting near holding my tears

Telling myself there’s not a thing I should fear

Wishing I could kick my own ass into gear

“Just move” I whisper to myself

Spiraling up and down and all around

Take a breath *sigh.. oh, that helped

Breath in breath out

What was I doing again

Tears hot and heavy still in the corners of my eyes

What just happened

How fast the sadness and confusion comes and goes

A piece here

A piece there

My heart is aching

My spirit misplaced

Work has yet to be started

Messy space

Tired and exhausted

Trying to keep steady with the pace

Cold sweat my thoughts do cause

When did I pause

To be able and willing

changing flaws

Forgetting …….. what was I doing again

Oh well

Wipe the tears

Sit up straight

Just get through the day

Smile

Too many words

Placing themselves within

Hidden away

For when to begin

A gnawing constant

That screams and shouts

Please Lord God ….

Keep my heart.

For today

Maybe I might just fall apart.

~smc

The Message that helped me find my voice again.

Since I am having one of those days where I feel I need to be brave and just rip the band aid off. I feel as if I am among friends which I thank you all for.

Here is a video of my daughter (13) and I singing.

We were having dinner at grandmas and she wanted me to hear her play this song she just learned. We didn’t practice it and its no where near perfect but its perfect to me. We did one take and this is it.

It’s amazing how we send ourselves messages without even knowing the impact it will later have on our lives. I see this and know that I am on the right path. I am saying something now.