Tears of maybe

Sitting near holding my tears

Telling myself there’s not a thing I should fear

Wishing I could kick my own ass into gear

“Just move” I whisper to myself

Spiraling up and down and all around

Take a breath *sigh.. oh, that helped

Breath in breath out

What was I doing again

Tears hot and heavy still in the corners of my eyes

What just happened

How fast the sadness and confusion comes and goes

A piece here

A piece there

My heart is aching

My spirit misplaced

Work has yet to be started

Messy space

Tired and exhausted

Trying to keep steady with the pace

Cold sweat my thoughts do cause

When did I pause

To be able and willing

changing flaws

Forgetting …….. what was I doing again

Oh well

Wipe the tears

Sit up straight

Just get through the day

Smile

Too many words

Placing themselves within

Hidden away

For when to begin

A gnawing constant

That screams and shouts

Please Lord God ….

Keep my heart.

For today

Maybe I might just fall apart.

~smc

The Hymn of “We”

The shell of once was

Has crumbled and set ablaze.

The blinding pain is unbearable

The rage of a scream

A sigh of relief

A fist of frustration

All which bring a river

Slowly falling

From thine eyes

Sitting here not knowing what may be

Brings the feelings, maybe

We weren’t meant to be free

Free from a hymn

Which is We

Flowing ever so viciously

So as we grow in the shit of this day

Know we are loved from above

For its always been

Acceptance with Love

That will heal

The fractures of our Love

Forever and Always

~Shawnna

No other voice will define me

In John 10:27 Jesus says, “My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me.” There are many voices competing to shape us. There is your own voice, the enemy’s voice, the voice of the world, and the voice of God. His voice is the only one that matters! The creation cannot name itself, only the creator has that right. You have a loving Father who knows exactly who you are and why He made you. Paul writes in 2 Corinthians 10:5, “We take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ,” so ask the Father to identify where the world, the enemy, or even you, have wrongly defined who you are and then replace that lie with truth. Only one voice should define you, the voice of the Father. A good way to determine if a thought does not align with God’s word is to measure it against something that you would say to a friend. You would never tell your friend that they are worthless, that God doesn’t love them, or that they are beyond the Lord’s rescue, so why would you think any of that could be true of you? Through His word, allow God to help you identify and extinguish those lies with the truth of what He thinks about you. No other voice should define you, but that of your Father’s.

Love God first

Most of us seem to think that the quality of our marriage depends solely on our relationships with our spouse. This is a logical thought because this is true for most of us. The condition of our marriage tends to go up or down depending on how well we are managing our marriage.

While obviously the dynamics between the two of you are important, there is another relationship that matters even more—your individual relationship with God.

Quite simply, connection with God makes us better spouses. Things come out of us that can even surprise us. Things come of us that surprise our spouse. What are these things? What happens when we love God first and our spouse second?

Galatians 5:22–23 (NIV) contains a list of the fruit we bear in our lives when we Love God First. These are called the fruit of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Those things describe the spouse most of us want to be.

By spending time with God, just like you are doing in this very moment (well-done by the way), something changes inside of you of that radically impacts what comes out of you.

Putting God first allows you love your spouse in a way you could never love them on your own, and that helps you to become… YOUR BEST US.

Action Step

Before you reconnect at the end of the work day, pause and pray the prayer below.

Prayer

God, for the rest of this day, help me to love my spouse in ways that reflect You in me.

Be Established

I am a temple within God?.

No longer will I endure the torment of an image that is not mine. I am meant for freedoms. The past has left a wake of despair but my moment is in the now. What is done in that moment is what will define my next. I am tired of being scared of love. For I have known the ins and outs of a great love and let me tell you… the pain is so unbearable yet some how I find a sweetness deep within just so I am able to say Im ok. But ok with what,.. being in despair, sorry , but fudging flippiddy that.

Love is not a possession to be had but a gift that is shared by actions that have nothing to do with ourselves. Today I choose to give love to myself , to respect myself, to prove myself to me. If that makes sense.

I’m tired of trying so hard to be someone to someone else and nobody to me.

My promise is with God and that makes me smile. In the now. 😃

~sweetlyfiercesoul

The Canvas 

There is something incredibly real yet magical when staring at a blank canvas. Knowing it will soon be filled with “happy accidents”.  Not just from the paintbrush strokes alone but from the mind. 

The emotions felt before the paint even hit the blank canvas, frustration had started. A few deep breaths and a sigh of release I freed my mind and just went for it.

I sat down after the initial color was placed… staring at the blurred color which hadn’t even been in my thoughts ,yet here it was staring me in the face. What the fuck am I going to do with this.  I was dumbfounded with how many emotions raced over me with such a simple decision. So just like life I just moved forward and kept going. 

With each new color or flick of my wrist a sense of control was shared.  I wanted to let go of the need to make something beautiful, something that makes sense,  what I think my art should be, and just feel myself in my moment.  

Blaming base coats for being to thick, paints for being to thin, the lighting being to  bright, the room being to cold or the tunes that are interrupted by a low WiFi signal were just a few things trying to make it to the canvas in a frustrating way. 

Little by little the picture changed, and of course in a direction I was blinded to.  The inportant part was…. I wasn’t going to walk away from something that I knew was me. Even in all the frustration and ridiculous thoughts, my art was sitting in from of me asking , “please see more”. 

Life is one in the same. Shit happens. Colors like people and situations are painted upon our minds making its way onto our canvas’ of life.  We have choices to make in which we should want more of ourselves. 

Fear should not hinder the art. Do I see mistakes or choices I wish I could alter or change, maybe,  but I worked through to find what was needed. Even turning the canvas in the direction it was calling me to feel it.

No, this painting isn’t finished … it’s started.

That’s what’s so amazing . 

~Shawnna