The Canvas 

There is something incredibly real yet magical when staring at a blank canvas. Knowing it will soon be filled with “happy accidents”.  Not just from the paintbrush strokes alone but from the mind. 

The emotions felt before the paint even hit the blank canvas, frustration had started. A few deep breaths and a sigh of release I freed my mind and just went for it.

I sat down after the initial color was placed… staring at the blurred color which hadn’t even been in my thoughts ,yet here it was staring me in the face. What the fuck am I going to do with this.  I was dumbfounded with how many emotions raced over me with such a simple decision. So just like life I just moved forward and kept going. 

With each new color or flick of my wrist a sense of control was shared.  I wanted to let go of the need to make something beautiful, something that makes sense,  what I think my art should be, and just feel myself in my moment.  

Blaming base coats for being to thick, paints for being to thin, the lighting being to  bright, the room being to cold or the tunes that are interrupted by a low WiFi signal were just a few things trying to make it to the canvas in a frustrating way. 

Little by little the picture changed, and of course in a direction I was blinded to.  The inportant part was…. I wasn’t going to walk away from something that I knew was me. Even in all the frustration and ridiculous thoughts, my art was sitting in from of me asking , “please see more”. 

Life is one in the same. Shit happens. Colors like people and situations are painted upon our minds making its way onto our canvas’ of life.  We have choices to make in which we should want more of ourselves. 

Fear should not hinder the art. Do I see mistakes or choices I wish I could alter or change, maybe,  but I worked through to find what was needed. Even turning the canvas in the direction it was calling me to feel it.

No, this painting isn’t finished … it’s started.

That’s what’s so amazing . 

~Shawnna

Oh,Happy Happy day to Me.

“For the first time in a long time I can say that I am stoked about this day!

I am excited to say that I have made it 37 years!  Holy Shite !! Did I really say that number aloud?!

My birthday has never been a day I really looked forward to. The annoying high-pitched voices of others invading my personal space with their wishes for me and my big day. Expecting me to be just as excited.

A cheeky grin I’d give hoping to satisfy their need to be praised for remembering me on 1 of 365 days.

Maybe it’s because I have five kids. So much sugar

Yeah, have you seen a child on cake and ice cream. (just have a look)

Sure, sign me up for that dose of reality on my supposive fantastic day. (don’t piss on my head and tell me it’s raining) 😉

Knowing I’d be the one to pick every piece of confetti off the floor.  Nah…..I’m good.

I never really understood the importance of making such a fuss. It’s exhausting.

But this year I am excited for myself. I may not jump up and down clicking my heels, but I can honestly say I’m Happy this day birthed me.

The Birthday Almanac has this to say about me:

Inventive, Easygoing, and Unconventional

Original Thinkers Original Thinker I Am

    “Given that January 27 people have a masculine polarity that removes their inhibitions, an inventive element in air, and a ruling planet that encourages unconventional thinking, it is almost inevitable that they should be original thinkers. Their fixed nature makes them stick to their guns, too. They can be unyielding to the point of mutiny, especially when challenged, thanks to the interaction between their quadruplicity, Uranus, and their polarity. Their easygoing airy charm normally prevails however.”

Famous Births: 

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart (1756); Lewis Carroll (1832); Wilhelm II (1888); Samuel Ting (1936)Brilliant Minds born on January 27

Wow, such brilliant minds share this day with me.  So on the first day of starting my 37th year, I choose to be Brilliant.   I choose to loosen the grip of  gloomy conformity that has been placed upon me.  I want to be excited, I want to leap for joy at the many blessings I’ve been given. I want to be okay with seeing the beauty in the unusual.  For what is light without the night.  I choose the medium in which my voice is raw from anticipation of what might come.

Today on this day I am okay with being me.  -Shawnna okay with being me