Meditation On….. Silence Yes.

To be alone with silence is to be alone with God” ~Samuel Miler Hageman

Silence….

What is This Wonderful Power of Silence ?!?

Something that is enjoyed!

Usually the senses bring in so much sight, sound and other things to us that they occupy most of our time.

But to sit in silence now and then, with the outside world withheld, means to cut all this off and free the mind so that it can become itself.
I’ve been asked, “You just sit and think?”
Well…, No,….not exactly,

Thinking involves words which are echos of sound from memories deep within.

I am meaning,…  detaching the mind from all the outside activity so that in senses there is nothing there but itself.
There is a great amount of power in this kind of silence.

Trying to describe it would be pointless since we each have our own interpretation of this state of being.. My answer would be to try it yourself.
So much time and energy are being wasted when we allow the echos of the outside world to invade our inner silence.

The word meditation in my opinion is a middle state of being.

Kinda alike a cruise control for the mind. Once you know you’re safe in a lane which is wanted you allow yourself to switch on the cruise control, the same is done when you want the silence of mind.

In this space you can and will find yourself.

Safely tucked away waiting to be rediscovered by you.

The silence is Yourself  in the most pure form of Just…., Being.

Learn who you truly are, beyond all the noise,  quiet the consciousness which  is forever yourself.

The only way to know the peace this brings is to try it yourself.

 

Much Love and Peace !!!

~God Bless!
~sweetlyfiercesoul

 

Tears of Growth

Living Growth

“Her wounds of silent tears
bubble overflowing;
showing those of us who love her,
That her sweetly fierce soul is
forever growing”.  ~sweetlyfiercesoul

Finding Yourself

                         “O wad some Pow’r the giftie gie us to see oursels as ithers see us!”
~Robert Burns
Find YourSelf!

“Sometimes we find a clue in some chance remark made by an old friend.
Maybe something we’ve read sparks a glimpse of who we really are.

Fleeting thoughts which we meditate on through out the day

Bringing us closer to who we are.
Bit by bit self-knowledge grows.

An Awareness of all things, “self”
It does not come easy and perhaps this very awareness of the difficulty sustains us,

Spurs us on toward the ever receding goal.
For the self-knowledge we seek
rising above our social vanities and pride and the impressions we make is a full-time, lifelong job.”

~sweetlyfiercesoul

My Beloved Lives Within Thee,

There Is where my beloveds breath be near thee

“My mind lyrically writing the movements of my breath.

Noticing the unseen to the unaware.

Feeling the need to pen each and every scene which flashes through my mind.

Knowing, I am almost near “thee”.

“There” is the spot I feel

Pulling me near

Seeing the vision intended for truly only one, which is me

Beauty gnaws at me

For what I see

For what is this intended for, shouldn’t

All beauty radiate into the very matter of our core.

Filling the empty space within our breath.

We who share this very unworldly air.

Emerging with any and all who feel upon with knowing.

This might just be worth showing.

Right where it sleeps.

Through the shattered and hidden place of me.

Showing all the folds of me.

The pain of the void in which we see.

It touches the most inner part of me

Dark and twisting it rests

Waiting to be seen.

Light causes such unraveling.

Release of our breath.

Pens the most beautiful dark depths of me

Sending you on a  journey through my memories

Pulling and molding the essence of you through me

Waiting to yield the most tender of thee

Sharing the story of which we, “My Love”

Are meant to be

Flowing forever endlessly

Creating thee story in which maybe, just maybe

Others may see, just how sweet a pure Love can be

Freshly levitating to the eye of me

Allowing you to see all that could be

Some may call Destiny

But this is just the most inner part of me

Releasing not only one

But so much more of me

Waiting for your breath

To be penned within the beauty of  me

Holding an abundance of acceptance of Thee

For my Trust

My Love

You Did see

Allowing to be created

All I see.

The Love that lives in me.”

-sweetlyfiercesoul

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Why so Hush Hush?!

hush hush of sex

Sex.

I can remember I was in third grade as a bunch of us huddled around the dictionary in our private christian school as we looked up the word sex. We giggled and whispered thinking of so many more colorful things this word could mean. Then our teacher turned the corner and we all felt instant shame as we blushed trying to hide the Webster Dictionary.

Her face was so gentle and calm as she explained that sex was merely the way of determining gender, male or female. Which she proved by showing us the definition. That seemed to be enough for the rest of the kids as they each went to their desks, but for me, I was puzzled. I knew I wasnt being told the whole truth.

Why did I feel shame at being caught looking up a word that seemed to be so “hush-hush” but according to my teacher meant something so clean-cut.

sex is not a dirty word

I grew up being taught that sex was connected to shame. The words I remember my mom using to describe this word/act the most was “nasty” and “dirty”.   It was drilled into me that sex was for marriage which a wife then submitted to her husband. Yet the bible I was told to read was riddled with metaphors of sex being beautiful and spiritual.  And if it was meant for marriage, why was I, at such a young age already questioning the facts I were told to be true.

I had been sexually abused as a child yet I never felt a complete alienation from the act itself. I knew I held power over the persons that wanted my body for their own satisfaction. I would end up going into a dream like state during the act itself. Maybe I disconnected from reality completely and that’s why I continued to be intrigued.  I was introduced to porn by the age of 4 and yes, I can still remember the images I saw from those magazines. To me I saw beautiful strong  women who caused men to bow to their will. I saw art.  It didn’t click till later what I was actually seeing.

The sexual abuse did mess with my mind  in a way that is not like most.  I wasnt fearful or scared. It was more of an annoyance because it seemed inevitable that it would happen again and again simply because I was a girl. At the time I found comfort in the attention. I was always longing for a more meaningful connection which I would get a glimpse at but in the end I was left behind in a state of confusion.

Living with divorced parents caused a deeply rooted disconnect with how I perceived a loving relationship between the world and myself.

I was a hardcore people pleaser growing up. Which would later make it hard to say “no”  in my teen years.  In the times I wanted  the sexual advances I found that I wouldn’t allow myself to say “yes” or “no” aloud. It was easier to give myself for their pleasure in the time they wanted. In that decision, I would find myself safely in that welcomed trance where nothing could touch me and in that place I found comfort. This may have been a safe place for my mind, but it did nothing for helping me with healthy sexual thoughts.

I seem to split into two. I separated my mind from my body. Two completely different entities shut off from one another.  One was that of a complete restful sleep and relaxation knowing it would be over soon. The other was watching from above seeing the complete unworldly joy in the one getting pleasure from my body.  As for me, the pleasure I felt was not physical but mental.  The curious thoughts that would go through my head were more like a scientist watching an experiment or an artist creating a masterpiece. In those moments I didn’t see shame I saw pleasure, but why wouldn’t I allow myself to get lost in the physical pleasure as well?.   Was there really something wrong with how my mind understood how sex was suppose to be perceived.
we

Why was it me that was seeing sex so differently from those who were suppose teach me and help me to grow into being a healthy adult.

And why did it bring so much shame to the world around me? Why did my body clam up whenever the subject came up yet wish I could somehow communicate the truth going on inside me. Which was I liked sex, but maybe I saw through their eyes and not my own.

Why didn’t anyone want to tell me the truth about this hidden God-given truth!

That Sex is Good.

Love your sexuality

I guess I wanted to write this to show myself  I am not ashamed of sex, but that I still have questions on why no one wants to share their sexual stories of real life. Where is the safe haven to teach that sex is okay to think about and that shame and guilt need not be present to accept ones own sexuality.

I, like everyone who has a pulse, some way or another enjoys the feelings of being aroused, in their own way.  It has the ability to lift our spirits and clear our minds.  A scientific fact, yet not many want to tackle this subject.

I’ll just leave this here. 😉

 

 

 

 

 

 

Breaking Chains…Creating Bonds In a Moment

 

At this very moment, I saw a chain broken and a bond strengthened.

Talking with my mom, being open and honest about how flying  back and forth across the country when I was a young girl put into motion a completely unique and different way of viewing the world..

bonds

I  started the conversation, ” hey, do you remember putting us on a plane when we were so young. How did you get through that? Wasn’t that hard to say goodbye to such small kids.” It must have been emotionally hard for her because I know how hard it would be for me. Yet I still sensed her feeling of relief for getting a break from us for awhile. Which I COMPLETELY understand. (We moms need a break too)

I started explaining to her how it felt,  growing up with such strange circumstances and that it might have created in me an unknown perception and rhythm of being.

At first, she would try to identify with me by telling of her own emotions through a similar situation while she was growing up. Playing the woe is me card. (for a minute or two)

I just wanted her to see that maybe she couldn’t know my situation because she didn’t witness these crucial moments which started to  take shape in me, but she is still needed and wanted with the acceptance only my mother could give.

I remained calm and patient knowing that this was a sudden moment where the recipe of past actions have led to this very moment of a safe openness.

How was I going to act?!. (I now held the key to change) BUT…., How was I gonna ACT?!.!

I continued to speak in  a tone of questioning with a childish bewilderment. Truly wanting her help in  solving this riddle of miscommunication between us.

Which we in turn both want to flourish and  grow into a loving encouraging source of positive energy within us.

I could feel an authoritative knowledgeable woman speaking from my lips  I finally saw/felt a woman of my very own emerge from within. For whom Ive been waiting to get a glimpse of. I was she and she me. A feeling of  connection with my self.  Knowing I am Okay

In the end of what was a brief discussion while we stood in the kitchen cooking. My mother and I bonded an unseen deep rooted connection.

We weren’t taught or given the correct tools for healing our emotions, so now we must be open and willing to learn. Which we both were.

It was within this time a healing more powerful then energy itself happened. By us connecting the dots of a cycle we no longer want to continue it sparked into motion a driving force of a new foundation of change and growth built on acceptance….

Not just within our relationship but ultimately with how we will now begin to heal others with our new source of Positive Light.  All because we started breaking the chains of emotions of which weren’t meant for us to be attached with.

Once this conversation had come to a close, a new freedom was felt within myself. I  saw the beginning of event of healing which normally would remain unseen.. Those unhealthy bonds are no longer held together with negative energy but get boosted with a  positive,  lasting,  and pure bond of positive  (Love)  energy.

Together

Today I feel as if My three year old self got the encouragement and motivations I so deeply wished for. I saw that little girl. Today I was my own angel with the help of my Many Angels. And it all happened in a moment.