Sitting near holding my tears
Telling myself there’s not a thing I should fear
Wishing I could kick my own ass into gear
“Just move” I whisper to myself
Spiraling up and down and all around
Take a breath *sigh.. oh, that helped
Breath in breath out
What was I doing again
Tears hot and heavy still in the corners of my eyes
What just happened
How fast the sadness and confusion comes and goes
A piece here
A piece there
My heart is aching
My spirit misplaced
Work has yet to be started
Tired and exhausted
Trying to keep steady with the pace
Cold sweat my thoughts do cause
When did I pause
To be able and willing
Forgetting …….. what was I doing again
Wipe the tears
Sit up straight
Just get through the day
Too many words
Placing themselves within
For when to begin
A gnawing constant
That screams and shouts
Please Lord God ….
Keep my heart.
Maybe I might just fall apart.
In John 10:27 Jesus says, “My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me.” There are many voices competing to shape us. There is your own voice, the enemy’s voice, the voice of the world, and the voice of God. His voice is the only one that matters! The creation cannot name itself, only the creator has that right. You have a loving Father who knows exactly who you are and why He made you. Paul writes in 2 Corinthians 10:5, “We take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ,” so ask the Father to identify where the world, the enemy, or even you, have wrongly defined who you are and then replace that lie with truth. Only one voice should define you, the voice of the Father. A good way to determine if a thought does not align with God’s word is to measure it against something that you would say to a friend. You would never tell your friend that they are worthless, that God doesn’t love them, or that they are beyond the Lord’s rescue, so why would you think any of that could be true of you? Through His word, allow God to help you identify and extinguish those lies with the truth of what He thinks about you. No other voice should define you, but that of your Father’s.
I am a temple within God?.
No longer will I endure the torment of an image that is not mine. I am meant for freedoms. The past has left a wake of despair but my moment is in the now. What is done in that moment is what will define my next. I am tired of being scared of love. For I have known the ins and outs of a great love and let me tell you… the pain is so unbearable yet some how I find a sweetness deep within just so I am able to say Im ok. But ok with what,.. being in despair, sorry , but fudging flippiddy that.
Love is not a possession to be had but a gift that is shared by actions that have nothing to do with ourselves. Today I choose to give love to myself , to respect myself, to prove myself to me. If that makes sense.
I’m tired of trying so hard to be someone to someone else and nobody to me.
My promise is with God and that makes me smile. In the now. 😃
Today I am pondering over how my thinking may hinder others because of how abstract my thoughts are. Is this a good or bad thing to creatively force others to question their reasoning. Curiosity would be one word to define me. I question and rework mostly everything I see. I calculate and truly think about why I am doing something when it’s within the routine of my life. I notice signs everywhere….From the colors that are worn by others, the song playing on the radio, the randomness, to what line in the grocery store I happened my way into. In the most simple of ways I find the answers to why. Simply by asking “why”. These two YouTube videos which I found this past weekend made me feel as if maybe, just Maybe….I am on to something big with how I have been able to connect my memories and meld them with memories that are like a machines. hmmmm…..but how to write…. TO BE CONTINUED….!
“Know I choose the beauty of the word “why”…it can jump into our imaginations and give the most delightful visions of the very definition of beautiful (Be-U-fruitful).“~sweetlyfieresoul
Sometimes it feels as if I am a figurine that is kept on the shelf or still in its box for fear of being broken or damaged.
When I was a child my grandma would send me christmas presents like the Holiday collectors Barbie and Cabbage Patch Kids. My mom wouldn’t let me play with them because she knew they were expensive. So she would pack them away in her hope chest.
After much pleading and many years later she finally allowed me to have them. Of course they got dirty and a little roughed up, but they brought so much joy because they were a gift meant for only me. They filled my time with imagination which made me smile.
The Gifts I have been given that reside deep with in are feeling the same way. We are all given something special that was meant for only us to cultivate and grow into something that we then spread to the world in service. In doing this we then share our gift to the world.
Which is our way of saying Thank You to God. ~sweetlyfiercesoul