Jealous creeps up and then punched me in the gut. 

Jealousy is a horrible feeling. It causes such destructive thinking.  It’s such a weird emotion for me to comprehend. It’s amazing how fast the craziness started to swell with in me when I saw he had befriended his ex on Facebook.  At first I was like Damn she is fine and of course she’s blonde, blue eyes, is a pro diver in Hawaii has had kids and still in a bikini. Wtf.   But why did these emotions get so strong like I need to be worried….I mean come on it’s is ex from when he was 18. 

Maybe it’s the fact that she was a friend to him when he was learning how to be a man. 4 years in your teens is basically the time where anyone you meet is going to be important in your life.    She helped shape the man I am married to today. For that I thank her. Even if he says he hates her…..why oh why is she on his friends list then.  I can understand  20 years of curiousity  and wanting to see into someone’s life……I feel stupid for thinking this way. 😏