Tears of maybe

Sitting near holding my tears

Telling myself there’s not a thing I should fear

Wishing I could kick my own ass into gear

“Just move” I whisper to myself

Spiraling up and down and all around

Take a breath *sigh.. oh, that helped

Breath in breath out

What was I doing again

Tears hot and heavy still in the corners of my eyes

What just happened

How fast the sadness and confusion comes and goes

A piece here

A piece there

My heart is aching

My spirit misplaced

Work has yet to be started

Messy space

Tired and exhausted

Trying to keep steady with the pace

Cold sweat my thoughts do cause

When did I pause

To be able and willing

changing flaws

Forgetting …….. what was I doing again

Oh well

Wipe the tears

Sit up straight

Just get through the day

Smile

Too many words

Placing themselves within

Hidden away

For when to begin

A gnawing constant

That screams and shouts

Please Lord God ….

Keep my heart.

For today

Maybe I might just fall apart.

~smc

Thursday Again….

Thursday … worst day ever or so it seems to play out as. It’s a day where no matter how hard I try to wake the children they just grumble instead. It’s the type of day that seems to steal all my left shoes, coffee creamer was placed in the fridge only to be empty, there are bagels but dagnabit where’s the smear 🤦🏽‍♀️.

It’s the little things that tend to build up all week and then ….😩”F*ck, it’s Thursday”. Lol

The one thing I can say for sure is: “Aint nothing or no one gonna steal my joy”! So to you Thursday , have a glorious day, but next week could you please be a tad kinder and maybe try a little gentleness with your approach.

Thank you ever so much ,

~Shawnna

~SMILE😂😃😜

Meditation On….. Silence Yes.

To be alone with silence is to be alone with God” ~Samuel Miler Hageman

Silence….

What is This Wonderful Power of Silence ?!?

Something that is enjoyed!

Usually the senses bring in so much sight, sound and other things to us that they occupy most of our time.

But to sit in silence now and then, with the outside world withheld, means to cut all this off and free the mind so that it can become itself.
I’ve been asked, “You just sit and think?”
Well…, No,….not exactly,

Thinking involves words which are echos of sound from memories deep within.

I am meaning,…  detaching the mind from all the outside activity so that in senses there is nothing there but itself.
There is a great amount of power in this kind of silence.

Trying to describe it would be pointless since we each have our own interpretation of this state of being.. My answer would be to try it yourself.
So much time and energy are being wasted when we allow the echos of the outside world to invade our inner silence.

The word meditation in my opinion is a middle state of being.

Kinda alike a cruise control for the mind. Once you know you’re safe in a lane which is wanted you allow yourself to switch on the cruise control, the same is done when you want the silence of mind.

In this space you can and will find yourself.

Safely tucked away waiting to be rediscovered by you.

The silence is Yourself  in the most pure form of Just…., Being.

Learn who you truly are, beyond all the noise,  quiet the consciousness which  is forever yourself.

The only way to know the peace this brings is to try it yourself.

 

Much Love and Peace !!!

~God Bless!
~sweetlyfiercesoul

 

Why?…. So Many Signs i See..

Today I am pondering over how my thinking may hinder others because of how abstract my thoughts are. Is this a good or bad thing to creatively force others to question their reasoning. Curiosity would be one word to define me. I question and rework mostly everything I see. I calculate and truly think about why I am doing something when it’s within the routine of my life. I notice signs everywhere….From the colors that are worn by others, the song playing on the radio, the randomness, to what line in the grocery store I happened my way into. In the most simple of ways I find the answers to why. Simply by asking “why”.    These two YouTube videos  which I found this past weekend made me feel as if maybe, just Maybe….I am on to something big with how I have been able to connect my memories and meld them with memories that are like a machines. hmmmm…..but how to write…. TO BE CONTINUED….!

Know I choose the beauty of the word “why”…it can jump into our imaginations and give the most delightful visions of the very definition of beautiful (Be-U-fruitful).“~sweetlyfieresoul

You are a Gift.

Sometimes it feels as if I am a figurine that is kept on the shelf or still in its box for fear of being broken or damaged.
When I was a child my grandma would send me christmas presents like the Holiday collectors Barbie and Cabbage Patch Kids. My mom wouldn’t let me play with them because she knew they were expensive. So she would pack them away in her hope chest.
After much pleading and many years later she finally allowed me to have them. Of course they got dirty and a little roughed up, but they brought so much joy because they were a gift meant for only me. They filled my time with imagination which made me smile.

The Gifts I have been given that reside deep with in are feeling the same way. We are all given something special that was meant for only us to cultivate and grow into something that we then spread to the world in service. In doing this we then share our gift to the world.

Which is our way of saying Thank You to God. ~sweetlyfiercesoul

Start Living!

Start living!“We are always getting ready to live, but never living.”  -Ralph Waldo Emerson

There are many times in our lives when we want to set goals yet say,

“maybe I’ll start tomorrow”.
We are so tensed up in self-absorption that we cease to breathe deeply of the life around us. God knows there are days of tension, senseless distractions, incessant entertainment, and  the obsession of keeping busy.
Often with activities of little value.
Many turn to elaborate ends to numb away the awareness of being alive.

But that goal we so desperately want still dangles in our thoughts.
Life isn’t easy, but trying to deny it makes it bitterly painful.
When you’re in a position of knowing you want change and have a goal you want to achieve. Start small and live moment by moment.
Start living your life of value. Because you are so worth it. You control the time in which you were given.
~sweetlyfiercesoul

Light of Love

Light of Love

 

 Twilight was misty and cold in California that night as I stood outside my father’s house. I was 16 holding only a small brown leather purse with a few dollars. I Stared at the unlit door, knowing once again I had disappointed my family.  I thought about what would happen once I walked in late for curfew once more. 

My step mother would yell and a call would be made to what ever part of the world my father happen to be for his job.   I could imagine the look on their faces; disappointment and Anger.  But it was the faces of my younger half sisters that caused me to delay walking in.  

Knowing they would hear the fighting and be awoken from their dreams. That me,  their bigger sister had been the cause of their life turning upside down for the past 8 months since I moved in. 

Right then and there I decided to walk away.  Where would I go?

My grandmother lived just across the Street yet I had once already been dragged from her house. Being told my home was through that unlit door. 

 My mother and step father 3000 miles away.  What was I doing?

In my twisted teenage mind, I thought I was saving them. Saving them from myself.  The only way I knew to protect their hearts was to remove the problem, which was me. 

So into the night I walked without saying goodbye, without looking back.

  My heart-broken for the house light that wasn’t lit. 

If they only knew just how much that light would have meant to me.

 Maybe. Just maybe I wouldn’t have followed the street lights that promised a home.  

~SweetlyFierceSoul