Meditation On….. Silence Yes.

To be alone with silence is to be alone with God” ~Samuel Miler Hageman

Silence….

What is This Wonderful Power of Silence ?!?

Something that is enjoyed!

Usually the senses bring in so much sight, sound and other things to us that they occupy most of our time.

But to sit in silence now and then, with the outside world withheld, means to cut all this off and free the mind so that it can become itself.
I’ve been asked, “You just sit and think?”
Well…, No,….not exactly,

Thinking involves words which are echos of sound from memories deep within.

I am meaning,…  detaching the mind from all the outside activity so that in senses there is nothing there but itself.
There is a great amount of power in this kind of silence.

Trying to describe it would be pointless since we each have our own interpretation of this state of being.. My answer would be to try it yourself.
So much time and energy are being wasted when we allow the echos of the outside world to invade our inner silence.

The word meditation in my opinion is a middle state of being.

Kinda alike a cruise control for the mind. Once you know you’re safe in a lane which is wanted you allow yourself to switch on the cruise control, the same is done when you want the silence of mind.

In this space you can and will find yourself.

Safely tucked away waiting to be rediscovered by you.

The silence is Yourself  in the most pure form of Just…., Being.

Learn who you truly are, beyond all the noise,  quiet the consciousness which  is forever yourself.

The only way to know the peace this brings is to try it yourself.

 

Much Love and Peace !!!

~God Bless!
~sweetlyfiercesoul

 

Why?…. So Many Signs i See..

Today I am pondering over how my thinking may hinder others because of how abstract my thoughts are. Is this a good or bad thing to creatively force others to question their reasoning. Curiosity would be one word to define me. I question and rework mostly everything I see. I calculate and truly think about why I am doing something when it’s within the routine of my life. I notice signs everywhere….From the colors that are worn by others, the song playing on the radio, the randomness, to what line in the grocery store I happened my way into. In the most simple of ways I find the answers to why. Simply by asking “why”.    These two YouTube videos  which I found this past weekend made me feel as if maybe, just Maybe….I am on to something big with how I have been able to connect my memories and meld them with memories that are like a machines. hmmmm…..but how to write…. TO BE CONTINUED….!

Know I choose the beauty of the word “why”…it can jump into our imaginations and give the most delightful visions of the very definition of beautiful (Be-U-fruitful).“~sweetlyfieresoul

You are a Gift.

Sometimes it feels as if I am a figurine that is kept on the shelf or still in its box for fear of being broken or damaged.
When I was a child my grandma would send me christmas presents like the Holiday collectors Barbie and Cabbage Patch Kids. My mom wouldn’t let me play with them because she knew they were expensive. So she would pack them away in her hope chest.
After much pleading and many years later she finally allowed me to have them. Of course they got dirty and a little roughed up, but they brought so much joy because they were a gift meant for only me. They filled my time with imagination which made me smile.

The Gifts I have been given that reside deep with in are feeling the same way. We are all given something special that was meant for only us to cultivate and grow into something that we then spread to the world in service. In doing this we then share our gift to the world.

Which is our way of saying Thank You to God. ~sweetlyfiercesoul

Start Living!

Start living!“We are always getting ready to live, but never living.”  -Ralph Waldo Emerson

There are many times in our lives when we want to set goals yet say,

“maybe I’ll start tomorrow”.
We are so tensed up in self-absorption that we cease to breathe deeply of the life around us. God knows there are days of tension, senseless distractions, incessant entertainment, and  the obsession of keeping busy.
Often with activities of little value.
Many turn to elaborate ends to numb away the awareness of being alive.

But that goal we so desperately want still dangles in our thoughts.
Life isn’t easy, but trying to deny it makes it bitterly painful.
When you’re in a position of knowing you want change and have a goal you want to achieve. Start small and live moment by moment.
Start living your life of value. Because you are so worth it. You control the time in which you were given.
~sweetlyfiercesoul

Light of Love

Light of Love

 

 Twilight was misty and cold in California that night as I stood outside my father’s house. I was 16 holding only a small brown leather purse with a few dollars. I Stared at the unlit door, knowing once again I had disappointed my family.  I thought about what would happen once I walked in late for curfew once more. 

My step mother would yell and a call would be made to what ever part of the world my father happen to be for his job.   I could imagine the look on their faces; disappointment and Anger.  But it was the faces of my younger half sisters that caused me to delay walking in.  

Knowing they would hear the fighting and be awoken from their dreams. That me,  their bigger sister had been the cause of their life turning upside down for the past 8 months since I moved in. 

Right then and there I decided to walk away.  Where would I go?

My grandmother lived just across the Street yet I had once already been dragged from her house. Being told my home was through that unlit door. 

 My mother and step father 3000 miles away.  What was I doing?

In my twisted teenage mind, I thought I was saving them. Saving them from myself.  The only way I knew to protect their hearts was to remove the problem, which was me. 

So into the night I walked without saying goodbye, without looking back.

  My heart-broken for the house light that wasn’t lit. 

If they only knew just how much that light would have meant to me.

 Maybe. Just maybe I wouldn’t have followed the street lights that promised a home.  

~SweetlyFierceSoul

 

 

My Beloved Lives Within Thee,

There Is where my beloveds breath be near thee

“My mind lyrically writing the movements of my breath.

Noticing the unseen to the unaware.

Feeling the need to pen each and every scene which flashes through my mind.

Knowing, I am almost near “thee”.

“There” is the spot I feel

Pulling me near

Seeing the vision intended for truly only one, which is me

Beauty gnaws at me

For what I see

For what is this intended for, shouldn’t

All beauty radiate into the very matter of our core.

Filling the empty space within our breath.

We who share this very unworldly air.

Emerging with any and all who feel upon with knowing.

This might just be worth showing.

Right where it sleeps.

Through the shattered and hidden place of me.

Showing all the folds of me.

The pain of the void in which we see.

It touches the most inner part of me

Dark and twisting it rests

Waiting to be seen.

Light causes such unraveling.

Release of our breath.

Pens the most beautiful dark depths of me

Sending you on a  journey through my memories

Pulling and molding the essence of you through me

Waiting to yield the most tender of thee

Sharing the story of which we, “My Love”

Are meant to be

Flowing forever endlessly

Creating thee story in which maybe, just maybe

Others may see, just how sweet a pure Love can be

Freshly levitating to the eye of me

Allowing you to see all that could be

Some may call Destiny

But this is just the most inner part of me

Releasing not only one

But so much more of me

Waiting for your breath

To be penned within the beauty of  me

Holding an abundance of acceptance of Thee

For my Trust

My Love

You Did see

Allowing to be created

All I see.

The Love that lives in me.”

-sweetlyfiercesoul

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Why so Hush Hush?!

hush hush of sex

Sex.

I can remember I was in third grade as a bunch of us huddled around the dictionary in our private christian school as we looked up the word sex. We giggled and whispered thinking of so many more colorful things this word could mean. Then our teacher turned the corner and we all felt instant shame as we blushed trying to hide the Webster Dictionary.

Her face was so gentle and calm as she explained that sex was merely the way of determining gender, male or female. Which she proved by showing us the definition. That seemed to be enough for the rest of the kids as they each went to their desks, but for me, I was puzzled. I knew I wasnt being told the whole truth.

Why did I feel shame at being caught looking up a word that seemed to be so “hush-hush” but according to my teacher meant something so clean-cut.

sex is not a dirty word

I grew up being taught that sex was connected to shame. The words I remember my mom using to describe this word/act the most was “nasty” and “dirty”.   It was drilled into me that sex was for marriage which a wife then submitted to her husband. Yet the bible I was told to read was riddled with metaphors of sex being beautiful and spiritual.  And if it was meant for marriage, why was I, at such a young age already questioning the facts I were told to be true.

I had been sexually abused as a child yet I never felt a complete alienation from the act itself. I knew I held power over the persons that wanted my body for their own satisfaction. I would end up going into a dream like state during the act itself. Maybe I disconnected from reality completely and that’s why I continued to be intrigued.  I was introduced to porn by the age of 4 and yes, I can still remember the images I saw from those magazines. To me I saw beautiful strong  women who caused men to bow to their will. I saw art.  It didn’t click till later what I was actually seeing.

The sexual abuse did mess with my mind  in a way that is not like most.  I wasnt fearful or scared. It was more of an annoyance because it seemed inevitable that it would happen again and again simply because I was a girl. At the time I found comfort in the attention. I was always longing for a more meaningful connection which I would get a glimpse at but in the end I was left behind in a state of confusion.

Living with divorced parents caused a deeply rooted disconnect with how I perceived a loving relationship between the world and myself.

I was a hardcore people pleaser growing up. Which would later make it hard to say “no”  in my teen years.  In the times I wanted  the sexual advances I found that I wouldn’t allow myself to say “yes” or “no” aloud. It was easier to give myself for their pleasure in the time they wanted. In that decision, I would find myself safely in that welcomed trance where nothing could touch me and in that place I found comfort. This may have been a safe place for my mind, but it did nothing for helping me with healthy sexual thoughts.

I seem to split into two. I separated my mind from my body. Two completely different entities shut off from one another.  One was that of a complete restful sleep and relaxation knowing it would be over soon. The other was watching from above seeing the complete unworldly joy in the one getting pleasure from my body.  As for me, the pleasure I felt was not physical but mental.  The curious thoughts that would go through my head were more like a scientist watching an experiment or an artist creating a masterpiece. In those moments I didn’t see shame I saw pleasure, but why wouldn’t I allow myself to get lost in the physical pleasure as well?.   Was there really something wrong with how my mind understood how sex was suppose to be perceived.
we

Why was it me that was seeing sex so differently from those who were suppose teach me and help me to grow into being a healthy adult.

And why did it bring so much shame to the world around me? Why did my body clam up whenever the subject came up yet wish I could somehow communicate the truth going on inside me. Which was I liked sex, but maybe I saw through their eyes and not my own.

Why didn’t anyone want to tell me the truth about this hidden God-given truth!

That Sex is Good.

Love your sexuality

I guess I wanted to write this to show myself  I am not ashamed of sex, but that I still have questions on why no one wants to share their sexual stories of real life. Where is the safe haven to teach that sex is okay to think about and that shame and guilt need not be present to accept ones own sexuality.

I, like everyone who has a pulse, some way or another enjoys the feelings of being aroused, in their own way.  It has the ability to lift our spirits and clear our minds.  A scientific fact, yet not many want to tackle this subject.

I’ll just leave this here. 😉